The 24th of March

Jam of the Day: Teeny Weeny String Bikini, Gunther, Pleasureman

Big news audience! Yesterday I made a decision that now greatly affects my scheduling. Some background information first though, just to keep you up to speed.

I work because sitting at home all day does not do the heart good. In fact it ruins sleep schedules, brings forth the laziness of watching netflix while eating turkey dogs and cheetos. Not even a pound of spinach a day can keep the craving for that kind of junk food away, unfortunately. So, I work to keep busy as well as to make money. I have two jobs in fact; one is training to be a ballroom dance instructor. The other, an assistant teacher at a daycare facility. Now the big news is that I quit, one of them. Can you guess which one? A hint, dance rocks and kids who can't even be given time-outs because it's "against corporate" don't rock. I quit the daycare.

Trust me audience it needed to be done. I was initially excited to have a job, with kids even because I'm realistic about them. They are cute little shits who are not to be trusted with halos. Kids are selfish, whiny, little brats. That's the truth. They can be sweet, but tend to lean more towards brattish. This is not a surprise to me. I've worked with kids in various other jobs, I even counsel Junior High students once a year during the last week of June. The problem with the position as assistant teacher at Child Care daycare center was not the realism of kids not being angels, it was the stress of the restrictions of being a teacher.

Daycares aren't foreign to me either, so don't start down that thought process dear audience. I was in Kindercare since I was a baby, parents worked full time as engineers, and even went after school and during summer to Kid's Choice, that's a whole other story haha. When I was a kid the teachers were plenty in a classroom, never less than three in numbers, and could punish the kids. Nowadays, any form of punishment is considered humiliation which is a big NO. Time-outs, writing names on chalkboards, even frowning rain cloud stickers are considered "harmful" for children. There are two options of action for the daycare employees of today when a kid is being a little shit; take them to the director's office for a call home or redirection. Kids are always in the right and you, daycare employee, are in the wrong. Yeah...that didn't work out for me.

I did go without yelling. There were a few leftover tears from my breakdown in my car, but all in all it was a graceful quitting. I returned my shirts, collected my sneakers, and walked out of a job I had only held for about a week. Yeah, I didn't last. But honestly, I suspect that my fellow workers were alcoholics or serial killers. They also had all the life sucked out of them which was apparent in their washed out smiles. Karen, a woman I despise for being the definition of a pessimistic bitch, had deeper wrinkles, canyons really, than my grandmother. Karen, late fifties, my grandmother ninety-one and looking young.

You might be asking audience, what drove me over the edge? Well, toddlers. Sixteen toddlers in one room with one other teacher. That was my new position. No Karen yes, but plenty of everything else. Specifically I'd have to say it was some of the throwing of everything, the constant crying, the spaghetti sauce everywhere (all over them as well as the floor), the eating off the floor, the refusal to walk, and the prospect of changing diapers (if the former parasite isn't mine I ain't touching their shit) was in a nutshell the straw(s) that broke this lil camel's back. I had to hold back tears whilst rubbing a kid's back for nap. During my hour break I cried (yes, even Chicagoans cry when overwhelmed) in my van, driving home, and at my house with my arms wrapped around my dog. I then called my respective three family members and decided to quit. That moment made me smile and feel as though I had lost a dead useless limb.

Though this sounds depressing audience, it's not. I feel happy today, it's been a week since that has happened without stress. In fact, my cold is finally giving up. Maybe now I'll be able to taste vegetables again; it's been a struggle to feel the flavors. Last week I was the worst when under that job. I was not eating enough, I yelled a lot, I complained a lot, and I told myself that it would become better, all while my parents and friends suffered my attitude. Then, it didn't become better. But enough about then.

Today I am relaxing, seeing a friend or two, and feeling all smiles again. Horray for being true to yourself! Fuck you corporate. And audience, let's kill this generation of, as my brother puts it "gigantic pussies" and be realistic about children. They are people, not angels. They need spankings on their butts when they truly hurt someone (often another kid). They need their hands slapped away when reaching for a flame or blade. They need to be put in timeout when they are hitting their friends with wooden blocks. They need their names on the board when they refuse to behave even human, let alone like a child. Quit fantasizing and raise someone real, not a brat for life.

One more thing for all you non believers of my viewpoint; Luci was an angel once. Whatever happened to him? xoxo agnostic girl

Fact of the moment: I am sitting in a pink (my second least favorite color) bathrobe with wet hair and lilac painted toenails while I type this with one thought in my mind, brunch. Hmm fried mozz and some cooked spinach with a side of fresh tomatoes sounds pretty tasty.