So. It's been awhile. I could tell you why but that isn't necessary. What I have done in past few months belongs in the past. Nothing was shameful or horrible, well not really. It was just life. I'd have say that the now is far more interesting to me.
For instance, it's summer! Everyone else's favorite time of year. Ha ha, well I do enjoy how happy summer makes my friends and family. The long days are nice too because people want to be active later; they think that sunlight means it isn't night yet, suckers. Means I am able to spend more time out and about with the people I enjoy.
Now, the people I don't enjoy they have been exiled. By exiled I mean I do not engage in any contact with them whatsoever. Fortunately, everyone on the exile list seems to be agree with this arrangement. No one is throwing rocks at my window or harassing my social media pages. Thank you exiles for being cooperative. Who knows, I'm probably on your exile list too.
See, isn't modern information fun? I definitely think so! In fact, I have recently fallen for someone despite doing my best to avoid such a situation. My future is not going to be taking place in my current State, not at all. Therefore, I took it upon myself to avoid dating, romance, crushes, and everything else related to love, mainly men, for several months now in order to avoid hurt feelings.
That was going well and then completely failed when someone walked into my life. Definitely not complaining though because he's unlike anyone I've met before; he smiles when he looks at me. No frowns or plastered grins, just soft smiles. For the first time, ever, I'm completely happy with love. There isn't any doubt about my feelings being misplaced this time around. I'm not worried about what he thinks of me, or will do when I'm not there. I don't have to fret about him faking his way through life. He just is being himself and happened to introduce himself to me. If I never saw him again, that would be alright because I'm happy. Don't have me wrong, I want to see him again. Hopefully work schedules won't prevent that. Michigan is only two hours away anyways.
Ah yes, I have a job that I don't despise. In fact, I rather love it. The environment is very friendly and fresh. It is not a career path job, rather it is something to make money with and pass the time. I have a small but rewarding purpose for the time being. There is one person who doesn't like me, at all, but I have a solution; I'm overly nice to her. I do not talk ill about any of my coworkers at work to coworkers or managers because that's just bad karma; you're asking to be thrown under the bus. She doesn't like me, I'm nice to her. That honestly keeps her at bay and makes her less horrible in general. The solution to so many problems is to just be nice, even if it goes against your initial instincts.
That's all that comes to mind audience. I may seem scatter brained, and I am, because I haven't actually sat down and written something like this for many many weeks. It feels rusty doing so. I'd much rather go back to writing about video games, I found joy within them again. So with any luck you'll see more posts on that blog rather than this one.
In fact, I may just abandon this one all together. You don't really need me do you? And I don't really need this blog to feel happy. I did that without it. Huh.
Farewell audience (at least this blog),
Mare
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
The 15th of April
Yeah, it's a been a lil while audience. BUT such is life.
My life, which is the reason you're here right? Ahem, my life has been stressful and crazy since we last kept in touch. If you remember I was sick. Well, that didn't go away for a good few weeks. Hmm, instead of listing this via clauses why not tell you in list form?
List of Bad Things and Thoughts and Stresses as of Recent Times (these are whiny complaints)
My life, which is the reason you're here right? Ahem, my life has been stressful and crazy since we last kept in touch. If you remember I was sick. Well, that didn't go away for a good few weeks. Hmm, instead of listing this via clauses why not tell you in list form?
List of Bad Things and Thoughts and Stresses as of Recent Times (these are whiny complaints)
- Being sick for over two weeks straight
- Eating copious amounts of Cheetos
- Being unable to afford airfare to visit friends
- Crazy subletter lady in Iowa
- My landlords being dumbasses in Iowa
- The dooming possibility of having to go to court in Iowa
- Iowa being a pain in the ass
- Having ripped up toes due to dancing heels
- Breakouts >_<
- Laundry, just laundry
- The Foxtrot (it's hard...)
- The Blackhawks (my boys are failing me)
- Having zero clue about a possible career
- Having to suppress the urge to strangle anyone who wants to "help" because their career is something with which I want nothing to do
- My birthday approaching
- Cheetos, again. I feel kinda sick from them...this is what happens when you ignore your body's limits...
So a few tums later.
Hmm, that's an annoying and depressing list. Let's make another! Except this one will be different.
List of Good Things and Thoughts and Happinesses (not a real word) as of Recent Times
- Going to two of my best friends' recitals
- The Zoo Whirl
- My birthday approaching
- Planning Wesley Woods Church Camp
- Researching possible job positions
- Helping friends in deed
- Rereading The Two Towers
- Making T-Shirts
- Prepping for the busy month of May (there are two graduations and a 5K involved as well as a possible trip to LA since I might have some funds by then)
- Waltzing (my favorite dance)
- Reminding myself of my future destination (I know the place just not the job)
- Rogue (my lil cotton ball of mewing love)
- Death Spank
- Death Spank, Thongs of Virtue
- Borderlands 2
- The Blackhawks (Brandon Saad, Jonathan Toews, Patrick Sharp, Teuvo Teravainen, and Marian Hossa are still beautiful)
- Training
- My Queen Playlist
- Making Zelda friends with baristas
- Doki Doki
Perfect! Now that is a list. For the Jam of Da Day, well it's my last entry on my perfect list of good things etc. Although this is a choppy post, it's still a lil something to digest before bed time darlings. Later audience!
P.S. Time for a lame joke
What did the French sailor say to the seal hunter?
Tu as un phoque!
(There are many reasons why I am not in comedy. This is one of them)
Monday, March 30, 2015
The 30th of March
Jam of dah Day: (I Just) Died in Your Arms, Cutting Crew*
*I speak French. I am aware of the meaning
Current Video Game(s)- Death Spank and Boarderlands 2
It's a day of finally being healthy! This cold, or the flu...I'm not certain which it was, has finally left my body alone. Being sick sucks and not being able to exercise because you can't breathe extremely sucks. Ugh, I never want to think about how many tissues boxes I went through. In fact I really don't like looking at tissues right now; they remind me of my chapped nose and inability to breathe. So today I can roll back into my daily lil exercise (it is not even close to a workout) and tack on some real workouts.
Speaking of workout, though I don't feel I'm at this level yet with this sport, dance training is going well. I have learned all the basic bronze follow steps and am now tackling the leads. Boys, be grateful of your follows for they make you look good. As follows we turn, spin, leap around, flare our hands, and point our toes, all while wearing heels. Haha alright I'll admit I only just bought my dancing heels this weekend. It was quite a long adventure/mini trip in fact.
My fellow dance trainee and friend Kim accompanied me to the Windy City dance expo this past Saturday. Our other co-worker and friend Mackenzie had to attend separately due to scheduling conflicts, just an FYI. So this dance expo was at a Hyatt hotel which was also the biggest hotel I've ever seen near Chicago without being a skyscraper. This thing was three buildings fused via walkways both in the air and underground. Fortunately we found the right ballroom. There was one shoe vendor and two costume vendors, all of it expensive of course.
The shoes were Dance Life, a well recognized brand among ballroom dancers and now a pair belongs to me. I tested out a few styles but stuck with my original choice, they just felt right. The advantage to proper shoes is primarily that you don't slip on the dance floor; the bottoms are made of suede (don't wear them on the streets EVER) which prevent that awkward and oh so common slipping of the sole while prancing around on the floor. The disadvantage, no matter how low they are still heels. Mine are only about two inches so nothing difficult, just be wary of loose straps.
The rest of the expo was dance competitions. Kim and I enjoyed watching the kids division. Not because the five year olds were cute but because often they had adult partners. There was a girl no more than five who had a man in his late twenties (and around five ten) as her lead. That height difference was amusing.
For the adult divisions, the matches that were more traditional (aka girl was short guy was tall) worked better technique-wise on the dance floor. No matter how skinny you are, five ten is five ten; there is mass and weight that follows. Remember, these people are dipping, whipping, and dropping their partners all over the place. A smaller frame and light weight makes the job easier. It was refreshing to see women of all sizes though, to stray away from tradition. I clapped for everyone because hell, they were all better than me and worked really hard on their routines.
I wonder when I'll be able to learn jive? Those steps looked like a lot of fun.
Facts of the Day:
-I am tired, mostly from staying up late listening to music
-New mix CD in the mix. Yes, I still burn CDs. No, my car does not have an AUX input.
-I am currently listening to a playlist of The Click Five. Haha middle school.
-My lunch consisted of a Pita Pit look-alike because there is only one Pita Pit for this chick.
-Hopefully schedule in some gaming later tonight!
*I speak French. I am aware of the meaning
Current Video Game(s)- Death Spank and Boarderlands 2
It's a day of finally being healthy! This cold, or the flu...I'm not certain which it was, has finally left my body alone. Being sick sucks and not being able to exercise because you can't breathe extremely sucks. Ugh, I never want to think about how many tissues boxes I went through. In fact I really don't like looking at tissues right now; they remind me of my chapped nose and inability to breathe. So today I can roll back into my daily lil exercise (it is not even close to a workout) and tack on some real workouts.
Speaking of workout, though I don't feel I'm at this level yet with this sport, dance training is going well. I have learned all the basic bronze follow steps and am now tackling the leads. Boys, be grateful of your follows for they make you look good. As follows we turn, spin, leap around, flare our hands, and point our toes, all while wearing heels. Haha alright I'll admit I only just bought my dancing heels this weekend. It was quite a long adventure/mini trip in fact.
My fellow dance trainee and friend Kim accompanied me to the Windy City dance expo this past Saturday. Our other co-worker and friend Mackenzie had to attend separately due to scheduling conflicts, just an FYI. So this dance expo was at a Hyatt hotel which was also the biggest hotel I've ever seen near Chicago without being a skyscraper. This thing was three buildings fused via walkways both in the air and underground. Fortunately we found the right ballroom. There was one shoe vendor and two costume vendors, all of it expensive of course.
The shoes were Dance Life, a well recognized brand among ballroom dancers and now a pair belongs to me. I tested out a few styles but stuck with my original choice, they just felt right. The advantage to proper shoes is primarily that you don't slip on the dance floor; the bottoms are made of suede (don't wear them on the streets EVER) which prevent that awkward and oh so common slipping of the sole while prancing around on the floor. The disadvantage, no matter how low they are still heels. Mine are only about two inches so nothing difficult, just be wary of loose straps.
The rest of the expo was dance competitions. Kim and I enjoyed watching the kids division. Not because the five year olds were cute but because often they had adult partners. There was a girl no more than five who had a man in his late twenties (and around five ten) as her lead. That height difference was amusing.
For the adult divisions, the matches that were more traditional (aka girl was short guy was tall) worked better technique-wise on the dance floor. No matter how skinny you are, five ten is five ten; there is mass and weight that follows. Remember, these people are dipping, whipping, and dropping their partners all over the place. A smaller frame and light weight makes the job easier. It was refreshing to see women of all sizes though, to stray away from tradition. I clapped for everyone because hell, they were all better than me and worked really hard on their routines.
I wonder when I'll be able to learn jive? Those steps looked like a lot of fun.
Facts of the Day:
-I am tired, mostly from staying up late listening to music
-New mix CD in the mix. Yes, I still burn CDs. No, my car does not have an AUX input.
-I am currently listening to a playlist of The Click Five. Haha middle school.
-My lunch consisted of a Pita Pit look-alike because there is only one Pita Pit for this chick.
-Hopefully schedule in some gaming later tonight!
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
The 24th of March
Jam of the Day: Teeny Weeny String Bikini, Gunther, Pleasureman
Big news audience! Yesterday I made a decision that now greatly affects my scheduling. Some background information first though, just to keep you up to speed.
I work because sitting at home all day does not do the heart good. In fact it ruins sleep schedules, brings forth the laziness of watching netflix while eating turkey dogs and cheetos. Not even a pound of spinach a day can keep the craving for that kind of junk food away, unfortunately. So, I work to keep busy as well as to make money. I have two jobs in fact; one is training to be a ballroom dance instructor. The other, an assistant teacher at a daycare facility. Now the big news is that I quit, one of them. Can you guess which one? A hint, dance rocks and kids who can't even be given time-outs because it's "against corporate" don't rock. I quit the daycare.
Trust me audience it needed to be done. I was initially excited to have a job, with kids even because I'm realistic about them. They are cute little shits who are not to be trusted with halos. Kids are selfish, whiny, little brats. That's the truth. They can be sweet, but tend to lean more towards brattish. This is not a surprise to me. I've worked with kids in various other jobs, I even counsel Junior High students once a year during the last week of June. The problem with the position as assistant teacher at Child Care daycare center was not the realism of kids not being angels, it was the stress of the restrictions of being a teacher.
Daycares aren't foreign to me either, so don't start down that thought process dear audience. I was in Kindercare since I was a baby, parents worked full time as engineers, and even went after school and during summer to Kid's Choice, that's a whole other story haha. When I was a kid the teachers were plenty in a classroom, never less than three in numbers, and could punish the kids. Nowadays, any form of punishment is considered humiliation which is a big NO. Time-outs, writing names on chalkboards, even frowning rain cloud stickers are considered "harmful" for children. There are two options of action for the daycare employees of today when a kid is being a little shit; take them to the director's office for a call home or redirection. Kids are always in the right and you, daycare employee, are in the wrong. Yeah...that didn't work out for me.
I did go without yelling. There were a few leftover tears from my breakdown in my car, but all in all it was a graceful quitting. I returned my shirts, collected my sneakers, and walked out of a job I had only held for about a week. Yeah, I didn't last. But honestly, I suspect that my fellow workers were alcoholics or serial killers. They also had all the life sucked out of them which was apparent in their washed out smiles. Karen, a woman I despise for being the definition of a pessimistic bitch, had deeper wrinkles, canyons really, than my grandmother. Karen, late fifties, my grandmother ninety-one and looking young.
You might be asking audience, what drove me over the edge? Well, toddlers. Sixteen toddlers in one room with one other teacher. That was my new position. No Karen yes, but plenty of everything else. Specifically I'd have to say it was some of the throwing of everything, the constant crying, the spaghetti sauce everywhere (all over them as well as the floor), the eating off the floor, the refusal to walk, and the prospect of changing diapers (if the former parasite isn't mine I ain't touching their shit) was in a nutshell the straw(s) that broke this lil camel's back. I had to hold back tears whilst rubbing a kid's back for nap. During my hour break I cried (yes, even Chicagoans cry when overwhelmed) in my van, driving home, and at my house with my arms wrapped around my dog. I then called my respective three family members and decided to quit. That moment made me smile and feel as though I had lost a dead useless limb.
Though this sounds depressing audience, it's not. I feel happy today, it's been a week since that has happened without stress. In fact, my cold is finally giving up. Maybe now I'll be able to taste vegetables again; it's been a struggle to feel the flavors. Last week I was the worst when under that job. I was not eating enough, I yelled a lot, I complained a lot, and I told myself that it would become better, all while my parents and friends suffered my attitude. Then, it didn't become better. But enough about then.
Today I am relaxing, seeing a friend or two, and feeling all smiles again. Horray for being true to yourself! Fuck you corporate. And audience, let's kill this generation of, as my brother puts it "gigantic pussies" and be realistic about children. They are people, not angels. They need spankings on their butts when they truly hurt someone (often another kid). They need their hands slapped away when reaching for a flame or blade. They need to be put in timeout when they are hitting their friends with wooden blocks. They need their names on the board when they refuse to behave even human, let alone like a child. Quit fantasizing and raise someone real, not a brat for life.
One more thing for all you non believers of my viewpoint; Luci was an angel once. Whatever happened to him? xoxo agnostic girl
Fact of the moment: I am sitting in a pink (my second least favorite color) bathrobe with wet hair and lilac painted toenails while I type this with one thought in my mind, brunch. Hmm fried mozz and some cooked spinach with a side of fresh tomatoes sounds pretty tasty.
Big news audience! Yesterday I made a decision that now greatly affects my scheduling. Some background information first though, just to keep you up to speed.
I work because sitting at home all day does not do the heart good. In fact it ruins sleep schedules, brings forth the laziness of watching netflix while eating turkey dogs and cheetos. Not even a pound of spinach a day can keep the craving for that kind of junk food away, unfortunately. So, I work to keep busy as well as to make money. I have two jobs in fact; one is training to be a ballroom dance instructor. The other, an assistant teacher at a daycare facility. Now the big news is that I quit, one of them. Can you guess which one? A hint, dance rocks and kids who can't even be given time-outs because it's "against corporate" don't rock. I quit the daycare.
Trust me audience it needed to be done. I was initially excited to have a job, with kids even because I'm realistic about them. They are cute little shits who are not to be trusted with halos. Kids are selfish, whiny, little brats. That's the truth. They can be sweet, but tend to lean more towards brattish. This is not a surprise to me. I've worked with kids in various other jobs, I even counsel Junior High students once a year during the last week of June. The problem with the position as assistant teacher at Child Care daycare center was not the realism of kids not being angels, it was the stress of the restrictions of being a teacher.
Daycares aren't foreign to me either, so don't start down that thought process dear audience. I was in Kindercare since I was a baby, parents worked full time as engineers, and even went after school and during summer to Kid's Choice, that's a whole other story haha. When I was a kid the teachers were plenty in a classroom, never less than three in numbers, and could punish the kids. Nowadays, any form of punishment is considered humiliation which is a big NO. Time-outs, writing names on chalkboards, even frowning rain cloud stickers are considered "harmful" for children. There are two options of action for the daycare employees of today when a kid is being a little shit; take them to the director's office for a call home or redirection. Kids are always in the right and you, daycare employee, are in the wrong. Yeah...that didn't work out for me.
I did go without yelling. There were a few leftover tears from my breakdown in my car, but all in all it was a graceful quitting. I returned my shirts, collected my sneakers, and walked out of a job I had only held for about a week. Yeah, I didn't last. But honestly, I suspect that my fellow workers were alcoholics or serial killers. They also had all the life sucked out of them which was apparent in their washed out smiles. Karen, a woman I despise for being the definition of a pessimistic bitch, had deeper wrinkles, canyons really, than my grandmother. Karen, late fifties, my grandmother ninety-one and looking young.
You might be asking audience, what drove me over the edge? Well, toddlers. Sixteen toddlers in one room with one other teacher. That was my new position. No Karen yes, but plenty of everything else. Specifically I'd have to say it was some of the throwing of everything, the constant crying, the spaghetti sauce everywhere (all over them as well as the floor), the eating off the floor, the refusal to walk, and the prospect of changing diapers (if the former parasite isn't mine I ain't touching their shit) was in a nutshell the straw(s) that broke this lil camel's back. I had to hold back tears whilst rubbing a kid's back for nap. During my hour break I cried (yes, even Chicagoans cry when overwhelmed) in my van, driving home, and at my house with my arms wrapped around my dog. I then called my respective three family members and decided to quit. That moment made me smile and feel as though I had lost a dead useless limb.
Though this sounds depressing audience, it's not. I feel happy today, it's been a week since that has happened without stress. In fact, my cold is finally giving up. Maybe now I'll be able to taste vegetables again; it's been a struggle to feel the flavors. Last week I was the worst when under that job. I was not eating enough, I yelled a lot, I complained a lot, and I told myself that it would become better, all while my parents and friends suffered my attitude. Then, it didn't become better. But enough about then.
Today I am relaxing, seeing a friend or two, and feeling all smiles again. Horray for being true to yourself! Fuck you corporate. And audience, let's kill this generation of, as my brother puts it "gigantic pussies" and be realistic about children. They are people, not angels. They need spankings on their butts when they truly hurt someone (often another kid). They need their hands slapped away when reaching for a flame or blade. They need to be put in timeout when they are hitting their friends with wooden blocks. They need their names on the board when they refuse to behave even human, let alone like a child. Quit fantasizing and raise someone real, not a brat for life.
One more thing for all you non believers of my viewpoint; Luci was an angel once. Whatever happened to him? xoxo agnostic girl
Fact of the moment: I am sitting in a pink (my second least favorite color) bathrobe with wet hair and lilac painted toenails while I type this with one thought in my mind, brunch. Hmm fried mozz and some cooked spinach with a side of fresh tomatoes sounds pretty tasty.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
The 21st of March
Jam of the Day: One More Time, Daft Punk, Discovery
Hello there! My name is Mary but I refer to myself often as Mare, must be the pony in me. Anyhow, this is yet another blog that I've decided to create. I have some experience in the blogging department, two of my blogs are even completed projects (they covered my respected semesters abroad). Two are admittedly dead projects that I abandoned, sorry under three lines! Then there is my favorite blog which will need some revival. Don't worry Pixel Dust you will live once more!!!
Moving on, this particular blog is just going to be something fun for me. It won't have the heaviness of a public diary (oxymoron in a way) or the restrictions of a blog about one specific topic; I want to just write what I want to write and try to make it positive since positive thoughts have a way of making me smile even under the darkest of little black rain clouds. Ah! That brings me to an important remark. I love grammar but I, like all people who LOVE to write down what is floating in their heads, tend to ignore dah rules; this blog will be rich with comma mistakes, run on sentences, fragmented clauses, and probably improper usages of transitive and intransitive verbs. There will also be made-up terms and words which I will define occasionally. I do not take any credit for them because all the greatest words have been invented. Only moronic ones like "twerk", "tweet", "Belgian cake" are created nowadays.
Moving on again, this is my first official post and it's the welcoming one! Welcome! Bienvenue! Welgekomen! I hope you audience, whomever you are, enjoy this blog as much as I believe I will. Fingers crossed for luck.
List of Today:
1. Clean Rogue's litter box. My precious marshmallow is yapping at me as I type these words to get it done already!
2. Do laundry. My room is an explosion of my closet. There are dresses (work), black pants (work), polos (also work), jeans, socks, and a separate mountain of Victoria Secret intimates. Yikes!
3. Get rid of this cold! I have been plagued with a cold for over a week and it's more annoying than a room full of small children. Trust me, one of my jobs is looking after small children for eight hours. This cold is not a great accessory at the moment. Please leave cold!
4. Read. I have two magazines that I want to dive into (pssst Health and my waning subscription of Seventeen) as well as one of my favorite books from the Rings trilogy.
Final thoughts, Rogue, stop playing with my phone charger!
Hello there! My name is Mary but I refer to myself often as Mare, must be the pony in me. Anyhow, this is yet another blog that I've decided to create. I have some experience in the blogging department, two of my blogs are even completed projects (they covered my respected semesters abroad). Two are admittedly dead projects that I abandoned, sorry under three lines! Then there is my favorite blog which will need some revival. Don't worry Pixel Dust you will live once more!!!
Moving on, this particular blog is just going to be something fun for me. It won't have the heaviness of a public diary (oxymoron in a way) or the restrictions of a blog about one specific topic; I want to just write what I want to write and try to make it positive since positive thoughts have a way of making me smile even under the darkest of little black rain clouds. Ah! That brings me to an important remark. I love grammar but I, like all people who LOVE to write down what is floating in their heads, tend to ignore dah rules; this blog will be rich with comma mistakes, run on sentences, fragmented clauses, and probably improper usages of transitive and intransitive verbs. There will also be made-up terms and words which I will define occasionally. I do not take any credit for them because all the greatest words have been invented. Only moronic ones like "twerk", "tweet", "Belgian cake" are created nowadays.
Moving on again, this is my first official post and it's the welcoming one! Welcome! Bienvenue! Welgekomen! I hope you audience, whomever you are, enjoy this blog as much as I believe I will. Fingers crossed for luck.
List of Today:
1. Clean Rogue's litter box. My precious marshmallow is yapping at me as I type these words to get it done already!
2. Do laundry. My room is an explosion of my closet. There are dresses (work), black pants (work), polos (also work), jeans, socks, and a separate mountain of Victoria Secret intimates. Yikes!
3. Get rid of this cold! I have been plagued with a cold for over a week and it's more annoying than a room full of small children. Trust me, one of my jobs is looking after small children for eight hours. This cold is not a great accessory at the moment. Please leave cold!
4. Read. I have two magazines that I want to dive into (pssst Health and my waning subscription of Seventeen) as well as one of my favorite books from the Rings trilogy.
Final thoughts, Rogue, stop playing with my phone charger!
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